Halfway through the 2018 NFL season and no head coaches have been given a pink slip.
The closest we’ve seen is Arizona firing offensive coordinator Mike McCoy, ironically the third time in 20 months he’s been shown the door. Yikes. This lack of chopping block activity is unacceptable, especially when there are so many decision-making dunderheads roaming sidelines on Sundays. The ax is almost certain to fall at some point, but identifying which guy will be run out of town is always a fun exercise. Here’s a peek at the coaches most likely to be booted:
Sean McDermott +400
The Bills play hard and are not an easy out. Considering the glaring lack of talent on the roster, McDermott has been better than okay. The Bills have a GM problem, not a head coach problem.
Steve Wilks +500
He had to dump his hand-picked choice for offensive coordinator seven weeks into the season. The term “out of his depth” springs to mind.
Frank Reich +750
The Colts are struggling to get wins, but their offense is one of the NFL’s most efficient and their defense is loaded with quality young talent. Four of their next five games are in the division, so
a playoff run could be coming.
Bill O’Brien +1000
Even though the Texans have reeled off five straight victories after an 0-3 start, there’s still a chance they finish 6-10. The reason? Bill O’Brien.
Hue Jackson +1000
The Brownies should be 5-2 instead of 2-4-1, but Hue has done enough to stick around for a couple more months. He’s still an utter buffoon, but a front office packed with even bigger
buffoons can’t see the obvious.
Dirk Koetter +1000
The early season memories of Fitzmagic have disappeared into the ether. Now Koetter must rely on Jameis Winston to save his job. What could possibly go wrong?
Adam Gase +1200
The Fish have allowed 170 points in their last five games, going 1-4 in that stretch. Oh, and Brock Osweiler is the starting quarterback. Hang onto your hats, folks. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride the rest of the way.
Marvin Lewis +1200
It’s safe to assume Lewis will still be coaching the Bengals in the year 2030, at which point he will have compiled an 0-20 playoff record.
Pat Shurmur +1200
His correct decision to go for 2 when trailing by 14 is proof he’s not an idiot. Anyone with grade school level math skills knows he made the right call. Sadly, everyone associated with Monday Night Football is dumber than a 5th grader.
Vance Joseph +1200
All he does for 60 minutes on game day is shake his head in shocked disbelief. All Broncos fans do for 60 minutes on game day is shake their heads in shocked disbelief that Vance hasn’t been fired.
Jason Garrett +1600
Never gonna happen. His role as puppet to puppet master Jerry Jones is more than secure.
Jon Gruden +2500
When a team hires an out-of-touch TV personality who lucked his way into a Super Bowl win 15 years ago thanks to a historically great defense, said team gets what they deserve. The $100 million dollar man might burn out, but he’ll probably do enough to fade away sometime around 2021.